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Thursday, September 11, 2003
Of all the many words and phrases in the english language, "good-bye" has to be the saddest one. The word is used in so many different ways. But when used properly, it hurts so much inside. To sit there and listen to one of your friends or family member's or a significant other say good-bye as they walk out that door and don't look back, can break your heart in two. Standing beside someone as they lie in a hospital bed, and having them say their final goodbye to you, can just fill you with so much cheerless emotion. The thought of once you hear those words, you may never see the person who just aplied them to you again. What is even worse is you, yourself saying the word to someone whom you cherished, cared for and loved, until that one day and everything changed. You later sit back and look at what you did, regret, wondering if what you did was the right thing? or if it was all just a big mistake? some people may give in and ask for forgiveness, others may not be able to ask for forgiveness. The person they lost, they lost for good. No turning back....their lives have changed, nothings the way it used to be, and it never will be. It's scary how much effect just one word has on your life, and the lives of the people around you. Be careful what you do, what you say, and how live your life. Be sure not to make choices that you will regret later in life. Love your friends, love your family, and most of all, love youself. Good-bye's the saddest word i'll ever hear, or say. It'll break my heart to hear you say good bye. Sit, Smile, Stay awhile....
IdIoT_mE
Posted at 7:32:57 pm by my_life
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Just about everyone has someone whom they admire. Could be a family member, a friend, a famous athlete, muscician, writer, poet, or whatever. But really, what does it take to be admired? For some people, its just being born into a certian family. Others have to really work hard to acheive their goals. And once their goals have been achieved, at least one person in this world will admire them. But what is admiration? well thanks to dictionary.com I have been informed that admiration is a feeling of pleasure, wonder, and aproval. Many people chose to admire those who are more famous publicity - wise. But what they don't realize is that there are people with the same abilites amd same greatness' as those who are famous. These people so often go threw life with their talents/abilities/and great personalities, unnoticed. Sometimes the people whom we admire most, turn out not to be who you really thought they were. We can sometimes go threw long periods of time, idolizing or admiring a single person or group of friends or family members. And one day something might happen to make you see the real person inside of whom it is that you idolize. You may then begin to wonder how you could actually belive in that person. Or even yet why we belived or idolized them. There are so many little things in life that can really open your eyes to the world and let you see, the time you have wasted, the friendships you have ruined, the misjudgements you have made, or in short, the mistakes. Although sometimes, small things do open your eyes to the accomplishments achieved by you, or your friends, the frienships you have made, or the good choices you have stuck with. Life is just a road of wonders.....even if your on the right track you're going to get hit if you don't get out of the way. No matter what you do, somethings always going to go wrong. Nobody ever has a perfect life. Shit happens, you mope about it for awhile, mayb make it better, but in the end you just gotta move on....Quitters never win, and winners never quit!
IdIoT_mE
Posted at 1:00:19 am by my_life
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Tuesday, September 09, 2003
[thERe'S nOthiN u CaN sAy to cHaNge my mInD]
As I look around at all the people in this world who are getting along in life much better than I am. I try to pick out the things they are doing differently in life than I. Things like, not caring about the feelings of the people around them, not bothering to put forth an effort to make things right with friends and family, stand out the most to me. What if I lived my life like that? Would it help me get further in life? Or would it just send me plumiting to my death? The more I think about my "so called" friends, my family, and the world around me. The more i begin to not care, not want to know their names, who they are, or the friendships we had. The way I look at life has changed. My friendship has been taken for granted too many times. I've fought too many fights just to keep a friend. And as I'm sitting here thinking about it, I realize all the time wasted on you, all of you. They say you can't get along in life without at least one true friend. I've made it this far and I'm yet to find a friend who is true. So why not keep on going, not looking back, giving up on the fights and struggles? The people of my life today, are not the people I belived in yesterday. The people in which I belive yesterday, are gone, no longer worthy of my time. The past is the past, thats where it shall stay. Not in picture books, not on paper, not in my memory. Where it happened is where it shall stay until the day comes, that my memories are worth remembering, my thoughts/problems are able to be told, and I am no longer speachless. But until that time, the future is where I'm headed, the present is where I'm at, and the past is where you are, where you shall stay and be forgotten. You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here. You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone.
IdIoT_mE
Posted at 7:32:53 pm by my_life
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Monday, September 08, 2003
As I sit in the uncomfortable school desks and watch the seconds unconsistantly pass...my mind begins to wander. I begin to really think about the people around me. Who they really are. The more I thought about it, the more i realized how not everyone is who I think they are or thought they were. It's scary how just one person, when around different people can transform into a total diverse person. The thought of not actually knowing who you thoght you knew, completly changes the way you look at life. To think that one of your friends, whom you cherish, had so many good times with, a person you trusted, and laughed with....may not actually be who you think they are. Am I really the person you think I am? Or am I someone completley different or diverse. Am I who I think I am? Does anyone know the real me? Or am I just a joke, a fake. Do we actually know the world around us, or do we just pretend like we know it and what we are talking about. What if everything we thought we knew just one day suddenly became incorrect? What would we do? How would we cope with life? Questions just swarming my mind of the importance and greatness of the people in our world. Is everyday, every hour, every minute, every second, that we live, a waste? Or has it all been an act. No one know's. The world is unknown to all of us. Even our own friends and family can be unknown. They may say that the truth is whats important, but yet it does hurt. Yeah, friends do come and go, but do the best ones really stay? Or do they leave you in the dust because they are the best, and the best is now too good for you? Or were they really the best kind of friend in the first place? Some of you may dissagree with my oppinions? Maybe that is because you are one of those people who are unknown to their friends and family, or one of the so called best friends, lived your life always one step ahead of the rest. Walked all over those who were one step behind without even noticeing. They could have been 5, 10, 2, or even 1/2 step behind. It doesn't matter to you, either way your too good for them. Why not just keep your head held high, your feet moving, and your eyes set on the sights straight ahead, being sure not to look back. Unless you aren't what people really think you are. Then just be yourself. Theres no better person in the world that the person who isn't afraid to be themselves. The person who belives in theirselves. And the person who is known to the world around them. Live, Learn, Love....
IdIoT_mE
Posted at 10:56:51 pm by my_life
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Sunday, September 07, 2003
Everybody has a fear of some sort. Fear of the dark. Fear of spiders. Fear of the monsters under your bed or in the closet. Fear of death......The thought of one night just going to sleep and not waking up when the sun begins to shine the next morning. The thought that what you did that day could have been your last moment on this planet. The words spoken with your friends could have been your last moments with them. Would you regret your descisions. Would you wish that you could go back and change everything? As you think about these things, do you become scared? Everytime the thought of dying crosses my mind. I am filled with a great fear. I don't want to die. I am to young to die. If I were to die now, it would be as if I accomplished nothing in life. A waste. With that being said. It really boggles my mind to think that someone could be the ones to end their own lives. While I'm sitting here fearing my death, there are people out there who are planing either their death or the death of someone they know. What is even worse is the fact that these issues could be stoped by a simple, "sorry", "i love you" , or even just a simple smile or a "hello" by either someone they know, or a complete stranger to them. So many people don't care about anything or anyone in this world other than themselves. They spend their lives pushing everyone away from them. Until one day something happens, everything changes and all that person really wants is a friend. But no one is there for them. Eventually worse comes to worst that single person decides to take their life. Gone forever. They leave the world thinking nobody cares. But once they're gone the whole world weaps. Friends are like air....you can't always see it, but it is always there. If happiness or friendship is what you seek. Death is not the way to go. If you seek happiness, share your happiness with others and eventually their happiness will be shared with you. If you seek friendship, befriend yourself, befriend others, and others will befriend you. Death is not the easy way out......it's the only way out, once you exit your gone forever. Instead of choosing to exit the world why not just take a simple detour and cherish your time on this planet.
IdIoT_mE
Posted at 8:12:50 pm by my_life
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Don't you just wish that you could be a superhero? Like really they're the all knowing the all seeing the all doing of this world! The coolest people around. Or thats how we know them. But we really don't know what they are thinking. If they like the way they are. If they really do care about the world. But yet somehow they are still cool, and famous, and all n all, they're the shiat! So many people these dayz are changing who they are just so they can be a part of the "cool" or "in" crowd...like its so much better than what they have now. At first it will be....but then reality will come into place, some will regret their decisions on changing who they are to be cool. others will not. Some people change and never look back. Forget about their past friends, leave the pictures to fade, and the memories to vanish. The new cool kid, who regrets their decisions may blame their past friends for letting them go threw with it. The others who like what they've become. May blame their past friends who tried to stop them...One may blame them for not stopping the new cool kid. Who know's. either way the person has changed....in my oppinion...for the worst. Yeah I want to move on, forget the frienships I had, leave the pictures to fade, change. But theres something inside me telling me not to....for i know how much it hurts to watch someone change and forget all about you, how you've been there for them, the memories you had toghether, and the pictures that were taken and are now fading. Yeah, shiat happens, you learn to deal. But my forgeting the past, and changing would do me no good. No one would even notice, no one would care. My past has changed and i have not managed to change with it...weather its a good thing or a bad thing i don't know. All i know is that i am still the same old me, and thats how i want to be. Yea being told that your friends would laugh if you were killed, hurts, but its the truth. no matter what i do, im failing. Im just a failure at being a friend, a failure.....of this game called life....wasted time, ended friendships, forgoten memories.....
IdIoT_mE
Posted at 2:21:09 am by my_life
Permalink
Friday, September 05, 2003
As another uneventful day goes by, one begins to think about their life, and the lives of the people around them. Every now and again one may realize how much or how little a friendship means to them. Usually people realize the importance and greatness of a frienship, where as I am beging to wonder if one if any of my friendships are important...or great. Some people say I am one who can befriend all, and that is known to be true. I can make friends...but rarely keep the same friends for a long period of time. I try to think that All of my "friends" are of equal importance to me. Rarely do I belive in bestfriends....nor becomeing more attached to one friend than to another. Some people say I live my life to fast..im always moving on, forgeting the past. The past is always a part of me. The past is what made me who i am today. There are moments as well as people in my past which i would like to forget. If only it was that simple. Too many lives in this world have been wasted. Too many thoughts have been told to the wrong people. Too many unnessecary tears have been cried. And too many "I love you's" have been said meaninglessly. People always have expectations of their friends, the better friends you are the more expectations. They say that everybody has at least one true friend....I highly dissagree with that. I have many friends, whom i cherish. I don't always show it...and i don't always seem to care. Somedays the only person in the world that i need for a friend is me. Until you befriend yourself, you cannot befriend others. It appears to me that i have not been my own friend lately for my frienship and caringness to others has faded.....as I walk down the halls i hardly notice the people around me, the friends do not speak. and the enimies no longer glare. everything seems normal, then back to reality i go. The friends have now joined the enimies and the whole world is glaring in anger at my presence......wasted time? + unnessecary + tears? + meaningless "i love you's"? = ended friendships? I do wish these uneventful days would quit passinging me by, making me realize my flaws in life.....
IdIoT_mE
Posted at 6:59:09 pm by my_life
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Thursday, September 04, 2003
Life often passes us by so fast. We don't even notice what we have missed. We spend are time waiting for that one special moment to come, and before we know it, the moment has passed. There are many wonders in life. Not only about the world itself or the people/animals that live in it. There are everyday wonders, that often interfere with peoples work and life. When your an adult with a family. You may wonder about your children who are off at school or the babysitters. You may also wonder about your work, and why you are only receiving the amount of payment that you are. The elderly often wonder if they will see tomorow, or if they will leave the world peacefully behind them during their sleep. Young children don't have many things to wonder about, they live their life slowly, day by day. Nothing matters to them, as long as the sun is shining and their are toys to amuse themselves with all is good. Wonder-free. But the story for teenagers specificly girls they're are so many things to wonder and worry about. Do I look ok? Did that guy just look at me? Is he going to ask me out? Should i ask him out? Am I cool? Popular? And so on. One that catches my eye the most is the question: "Am I good enough for you?" People begin to wonder more about what other people think of them and forget what they think of themselves. When everyone especially you, has lost all hope on you. Theres always going to one person, the person you would least expect, who is there for you. If you spend your life worrying and wondering about what will come of it. Before you know it, your life will no longer be. Your worries will be gone, and so will you. Live your life by the day. The day by the hour. The hour by the minute. And the minute by the second. Enjoy every moment of it. Don't look back on the bad, look back to see the good. Your worries of your wonders will be over, your life will not have passed you by, and you will be good enough for everybody, including yourself. Just belive.
IdIoT_mE
Posted at 7:30:59 pm by my_life
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nothing really matters,because this site doesn't get updated to often. but when it does, oh boy is it a grand ol' time.
im 17ish
and proudly of the female gender
i have a name, its a cool name, im sure u wish it was ur name
i live in a house, it has walls and doors and windows, and all that other stuff that houses have
im me, and thats how i see it, i may walk the walk but i aint be talkin the talk
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